Thursday, January 29, 2015

Relationship Infidelity Major Cause of Relationship Breakdown


Infidelity, unfaithfulness or cheating can be one of the biggest causes of relationship breakdown. 

The object of a loving, committed, monogamous relationship is that you're supposed to forsake all others in favor of your chosen partner.

When a person in a relationship does decide to go out and 'have a fling', the bonds of trust are broken very easily. There may also be a whole range of other emotions that can come to the surface, most of which are very negative and equally damaging to the future of your relationship.

Having an affair is often a person's way of signaling to their partner that something is wrong in the relationship. Rather than take responsibility for mending the problem, a weaker person will simply go out and find some gratification elsewhere.

Once the innocent partner learns about the indiscretion, any trust that remained in the relationship is instantly gone. The innocent partner may also feel anger and shock and a host of other emotions.

Unfortunately, there are some people who will resort to emotional blackmail in these situations. They'll immediately blame their partner for them going out and having an affair. They'll say they aren't 'getting enough at home' and had to go look for it elsewhere. They'll say it didn't mean anything and it was just sex, nothing important.

These lame excuses are a follow on from their original display of weak character in having the affair in the first place. They've already displayed that they have no strength of character by seeking out a sexual encounter and then they back it up by blaming the person who loves them for their actions.

A lack of responsibility for their own actions, both in having an affair and in blaming someone else for their own actions and choices, is often a sign of insecurity, immaturity and selfishness.

The biggest problem your relationship faces when this situation arises is not dealing with a cheating partner; it's dealing with the sense of guilt the innocent party suddenly feels.

The person who has been cheated on often goes into a depressive spiral of blame and guilt, believing it was their fault that their partner strayed. They will believe they're not good enough, too fat, ugly, awful, or any other negative image they can conjure to try and make sense of why their partner would want to go off with someone else.

With both partners in emotional turmoil over an act of infidelity, it's no wonder so many relationships die a quick death very soon after.

Mending the Rift

It takes a special couple to mend a relationship after one partner has been caught having an affair. Not only is the trust damaged, but both partners also have some serious emotional issues to work through before the mending can begin in earnest.

The guilty partner may often show signs of guilt and remorse for what he or she has done, but there will also be those subtle undertones of other emotions in the background to deal with. These can include fear of their partner leaving, anger at their partner not forgiving them right away and resentment for feeling as though their partner pushed them into cheating in the first place.

The innocent person in the relationship, the one who has been cheated on, has a different set of emotional issues to resolve before the healing can begin. These can include guilt for not being good enough for their partner, anger at being betrayed, hurt from the breach of trust, hostility and resentment for being made to feel inadequate, and fear of losing the partner they once loved so much.

In order to begin healing a relationship that has been torn apart by an act of infidelity, it's important that communication is open and honest. The person who cheated must accept full responsibility for his or her actions and not try to blame the other person for not being there for them when they needed a quick bit of sex. 

Some couples are able to put the pieces of their relationship back together to become stronger than it was before. This can be a long process, but it's not impossible.

Other couples simply can't bear the thought of staying with a partner who shows such an obvious lack of respect towards another person.

Only you can know if your relationship is worth saving after one partner has had an affair.

Conclusion Of The Series Of Articles on Relationship Breakdown and Repairing The Rift

Conclusion

While there might seem like there are so many things that could go wrong in any relationship, it's wise to remember that there are also many things that can go right.

Not every problem you encounter with your partner will be a reason to break up. In fact, many of those problems could be ideal opportunities to strengthen your bonds and renew your love for each other.

Communication and trust are the keys to a healthy, happy relationship. When you each know what the other person wants and expects, you're both in a position to work towards what keeps each of you happy.

Never be afraid to speak your feelings in a calm, considerate way with your partner. After all, you're in this relationship too and you have an equal say in how it's run and what goes on in it. 

Remember to compromise some of the time. You'll both have times where you want different things, but learning to find a happy medium can often lead to new experiences and pleasures you might otherwise have missed out on.

You deserve to be in a happy, loving relationship with a partner who loves and accepts you for the person you are.

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